BDSM Therapy
Affirming Therapy in Illinois for Poly or Kink-Involved Individuals & Couples
Therapy where you’re seen, heard, understood, and supported.
Therapy for individuals and couples involved in or interested in kink and/or bdsm.
We help you navigate concerns that commonly show up in kink or BDSM spaces and relationships, such as consent, aftercare, communication, and more.
We use general therapy modalities such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), internal family systems (IFS), and more.
While most sessions are 45-60 minutes, each session is fully personalized to you and your concerns. This is your space.
We accept most major insurances.
We offer virtual sessions throughout Illinois.
To learn more, check out our FAQ page.
For some, BDSM is about exploring desires and dynamics that bring excitement, fulfillment, and even healing. For others, it is a core identity—a way of forming relationships, building trust, and finding community. At FreeLife, our therapists are experienced in helping clients navigate the many roles BDSM can play in their mental health and overall well-being. We understand the unique joys and challenges that can arise within BDSM dynamics. Whether you're just beginning to explore BDSM or it's already a significant part of your life, we are here to support you in a safe, nonjudgmental space tailored to your mental health needs.
Communication
Difficulty expressing needs, desires, or boundaries within BDSM dynamics (dom, sub, etc. or with non-BDSM partners.
Internalized Shame
Struggling with feelings of guilt or self-doubt due to societal stigma around your sexual or BDSM practices.
Identity Integration
Offering guidance on how to harmonize your BDSM identity with other life roles and relationships in a way that feels authentic.
Emotional Safety
Needing support to process complex dynamics, such as power exchange, that may bring up past trauma or intense emotions.
Consent & Trust
Navigating past experiences of violated boundaries or difficulty establishing trust in relationships.
Aftercare Needs
Needing support to understand and manage intense emotions that can arise from scenes or play.
What is BDSM Therapy?
BDSM therapy is a therapeutic approach that affirms consensual kink, BDSM, and alternative relationship dynamics without pathologizing them. It recognizes that power exchange, role play, and non-traditional expressions of sexuality can be healthy, intentional, and meaningful. Instead of viewing BDSM as something to fix, BDSM therapy focuses on communication, consent, boundaries, and emotional wellbeing within those dynamics.
How does BDSM Therapy help?
Kink positive therapy helps people navigate desire, shame, relationship dynamics, and identity with clarity and support. It can be especially helpful when processing stigma, negotiating power exchange, exploring boundaries, or repairing trust after agreements are broken. Therapy also creates space to talk openly about BDSM without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. Many people find relief simply in not having to explain or defend their consensual interests.
Do I need therapy just because I’m interested in kink or BDSM?
No. Being interested in kink or BDSM does not mean something is wrong or that therapy is required. Therapy can be helpful if you are working through communication challenges, shame, relationship conflict, or emotional patterns that feel difficult to manage. But BDSM itself is not a diagnosis. Seeking therapy is about support and growth, not about correcting your interests.
Why Freelife BH for BDSM Therapy?
Freelife BH provides therapy that understands BDSM, power exchange, and kink dynamics without judgment or pathologizing. Kink relationships often involve negotiated roles, explicit consent practices, aftercare, boundaries, and complex emotional dynamics that go beyond traditional relationship frameworks. This work requires a therapist who understands the structure and language of kink communities.
We recognize that people in BDSM dynamics may navigate stigma, secrecy, shame, power imbalances, attachment concerns, or renegotiation of agreements. We do not treat kink as a disorder or assume it stems from dysfunction. We treat it as a consensual expression of intimacy, identity, and connection that deserves informed support.
You do not have to educate your therapist on basics like safewords, negotiation, dominance and submission, or aftercare before getting meaningful help. Your kink identity and dynamics are respected here, and our focus is on strengthening communication, safety, and emotional wellbeing within the structure you have chosen.
The Therapy Process—Explained
Intake
We start by getting to know you, your goals, and what’s bringing you to therapy in a way that feels welcoming and low-pressure.
Assessment
Together, we explore patterns, history, and current challenges to better understand what support will be most helpful for you.
Treatment
Your therapist works with you using evidence-based, affirming approaches tailored to your needs, identity, and pace.
Integration
You practice applying what you’re learning in real life, building insight, resilience, and trust in yourself over time.
Follow-Up
We check in, adjust as needed, and make sure your care continues to support your growth beyond each session.
You deserve support that sees all of you.
Frequently Asked Questions
-
Therapy for poly and/or kink individuals often focuses on the same core human experiences anyone brings to therapy — things like communication, boundaries, identity, stress, and healing — but with the added support of a therapist who understands the unique dynamics, stigma, and relationship structures that can shape your lived experience.
-
There’s no set number of sessions. Some people come to therapy for short-term support around a specific issue, while others choose longer-term care for deeper exploration and ongoing support. Your therapist will collaborate with you to determine what feels most helpful, and you can adjust your goals at any time.
-
Poly‑ and kink‑affirming therapy is just as effective as any other therapy because the effectiveness comes from the relationship, the safety you feel, and the therapist’s ability to understand your world. When your therapist respects your identity and doesn’t pathologize your relationships or desires, you’re able to do the real work of therapy without fear of judgment — which actually strengthens the process.
-
Not at all. You don’t need to be in a relationship — or even sure of what you want — to start therapy around polyamory or kink. Therapy can simply be a space to explore your interests, values, and questions with someone who won’t judge or pathologize your curiosity.
-
Freelife accepts Blue Cross and Blue Shield PPO, Blue Choice PPO, and Aetna PPO insurance plans. Clients using these plans will be responsible for the portion of costs dictated by their individual plans (co-pays).
Clients not using these insurance plans will be responsible for paying for their sessions themselves. Freelife is happy to provide a superbill to these clients if they would like to submit this to their insurance company for out-of-network reimbursement.
-
Freelife therapists offer both virtual and in-person options.
We utilize technology powered by Google which is HIPAA compliant and easy to use.
We also offer in-person sessions at our office located at 1300 W Belmont Ave, Chicago, IL 60657.
-
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) — https://ncsfreedom.or
The Kink Knowledge Base (Kink Academy) — https://www.kinkacademy.com
Getting Started is Easy
To get started, fill out the form below and we will reach out for your free consultation.